A quick thought on the kit...

For those whining about our kits next season (for heaven sake, it's a bloody football kit, it doesn't matter that much) here's the genius way Conference side Stevenage Borough are advertising their new kit...

Stevenage Borough are pleased to confirm the arrival of the new home kit for the forthcoming season.

Doesn't that make the heart beat that bit faster?

Fleetwood confirmed on fixtures day

Fixtures day's just magic, isn't it? Suddenly, the pain of last season fades, and the bright optimism of a shiny new season takes centre stage. Swansea, under bright blue skies, at The Valley on 9 August. The unlikely seems just a tad romantic. Heavens, even having Yeovil in the League Cup's started to make my mouth water a bit. (Hey, we'll probably lose.)

Indeed, the return of the Swans for the first time since 1983 still feels a bit shinier than, say, Hull's debut match in the top division - at home to Fulham. Pass the Pro-Plus, would you?

Slightly annoyed that Doncaster Rovers is a midweek trip, and that hopes of a summer trip to Blackpool have been dashed again, and Palace on a school night... twice? Oooooh. Anyhow, there's some interesting stuff about how fixtures are compiled on the Football League website.

Close-season business continues with Forest Green Rovers' Stuart Fleetwood joining us for a fee to be decided. Let go by Cardiff a couple of years ago, he returns to the Championship after tearing up plenty of Conference trees. Like Chris Dickson - who cost us a pittance from Dulwich Hamlet but must surely be worth £200,000 or so now - he should be a shrewd bit of business at the very least.

Not much big money to splash around, of course, but the undisclosed fee we're getting from, er, Crystal Palace for Paddy McCarthy will do its bit. A nice guy who's a real presence on the pitch, he simply didn't put in the performances across the season to make himself indispensable. Hopefully he'll do well... and move to a proper club soon.

Finally, I've decided to put my money where my big trap is this season. Get yourself to Ladbrokes, and stick some money on us to win the League. The Magic Sign is currently rating us at a mighty 18/1. It was just too tempting for me...

'Wake up! Wake up! It's Monday morning!'

Oh, my, was it all a dream? The last time I was awake, I was reading this...

The loan signing of Scott Sinclair from Chelsea could turn out to be a magnificent piece of business. He’s a young lad, but he’s unbelievably talented and will be a serious asset for us in the remaining games. His pace, skill and eye for goal will frighten other teams... (more)

... and then that was it! Gone! Out! Sparko! Then I wake up, it's not even Monday morning, it's Wednesday night, and it's raining at Euro 2008! I remember the season ending, and it all being rubbish, and being carted away by the doctors after seeing Fulham win - but Chris Powell leaving? Say it ain't so!

And Osei Sankofa? And... and... Cory Gibbs?! Noooo!!

My oh my, what to do next? How to cope with us signing Crystal Palace captain Mark Hudson? And the news that we've mended Svetoslav Todorov? Well, by extending a warm welcome to our former foe - get the feeling we've signed someone who'll be here for a while yet? - and promising to learn how to spell Toddy's first name properly, of course. And it's good to see the MK Scum friendly was binned in favour of one down at Brighton. Hurrah.

So, welcome back to All Quiet In The East Stand, lurching back into life after a few weeks off to recover from a thoroughly miserable end of season. Of course, there's bugger all happening at the moment, but I've been getting a little bit into Euro 2008, forgetting about domestic football and reminding myself that the beautiful game doesn't have to be dominated by small-minded cynics who are only happy when everyone else is as down as they are. Dare to dream? It's what we're here for, isn't it?

And what do we need for a brave new season? A rubbish kit, that's what! Come on, that away kit on young Wagstaff doesn't even look like a football kit, does it? It looks like something that's going to be stretched around bulging beer guts in Dartford in months to come, covered in beer and sweat. Because that's what it is. And that home kit? Feh. And just to rub it in, we're now sponsored by a sub-brand of JD Sports which sounds like a girls' drink. Oh, and club press office - the nearest branch of the JD Sports is actually in, er, Charlton. Never forget your roots, eh?

Actually, we're not the only one with kit woes - Arsenal have lost their white sleeves, prompting one fan to wail to the Telegraph: "Can you imagine Nike messing about with Barcelona's shirt or Man United's shirt? We will look more like Charlton Athletic next season." The pleasure is all ours, lads. Do you want Jerome Thomas back, while we're here?

So, that's the 2008/9 season coming up - like last season, but hopefully less crap. Now, what's the odds on Turkey to win the Euros, with Kazim-Richards to score the winning goal, eh?

Hibernation

Just blowing the dust off the old blog while the Inspector is blowing the froth off a cold one in foreign climes.

Anyone else suffering football withdrawal? Fixtures ain't out until 16th June and new season isn't until 9th August. Sodding Euro 2008.

Football hibernation seemed to come early to Charlton this season and despite the Champion's league and play-off finals I feel like I've been without football for ages.

Still, rounding up the news we've got a new centre-half to shore up the defence and lots of young lads blooded around the country are back and raring to be involved.

Even Captain Cleanshorts has offered some stirring words on the official site. He's obviously taken one look at Dean Windass hauling his old bones around Wembley and decided he too fancies a last hurrah in the Premiership. Frankly whatever it takes to get us out of this stinking purgatory.

Now, can I possibly make the online season ticket renewal thing work. Any tips?

Ups and downs

And for the avoidance of doubt, yes, Fulham's survival is still f***ing pissing me off.

But more seriously, Danny Murphy's header deprived us of what would probably be a beatable London rival in the Championship. It's hard to see Mohamed al-Fayed propping up a second-tier Fulham, and their win at Portsmouth may well have saved the club. For now.

So alongside Derby, we'll have the trickier prospects of Birmingham and Reading. The Blues will be a strong side for years to come, whatever David Gold does with the club after being abused by fans who seem to have forgotten their long years in the wilderness. As for Reading - John Madjeski's talked about pulling out in the past, but I can't see him turning his back on the side he took to the top flight. As we proved this season, past Premier League form is no guarantee of Championship success, but the second tier will have three new clubs with strong foundations - and bountiful parachute payments.

Speaking of which, I'm hoping Watford prevail in the play-offs for that reason - that's one less richer side in the league - but it doesn't look like happening, does it? Hopefully Bristol City will prevail again over Palace - but the thought of Hull in the Premier League still feels completely batty. Mind you, so did the thought of Wigan, and Reading...

Not convinced our lot would have survived play-off scrutiny - I reckon we're better off out of it this summer. Next season...

That's why we're Charlton

Not a dry eye in the house on Sunday. Funny, before Chris Powell netted his last goal for Charlton, we were musing on what would happen if we were granted a penalty - seconds later, that question was an academic one.

Chris Powell's cameo was a nice touch from an unsentimental manager - but Alan Pardew's decision to replace Jonjo Shelvey, who'd had a scintillating home debut, with the veteran defender 22 years his senior seemed to mark the changing times. With question marks hanging over the futures of Matt Holland, Jerome Thomas, Darren Ambrose and Jonathan Fortune, the team that Curbs built may soon lose its last representatives. With Shelvey, Basey and Wagstaff in Sunday's squad, the future is starting to assert itself.

Of course, we left it until the last game to look more composed, more settled than we'd done since that Stoke game in January. But it was always going to be that way, wasn't it? With the gang of moaners behind me having decided to spend their afternoon elsewhere, I enjoyed myself at The Valley for the first time in months.

Damn, looks like I am back next season, aren't I?

MK no way - part two?

Charlton are due to play MK Dons in a friendly at the end of July, All Quiet In The East Stand has heard via sources at Franchise FC. This seems to have a ring of truth about it - it's apparently a hangover from the Izale McLeod signing - which is why I'm publishing this rumour. I'd dearly like to be wrong, but...

We've been here before, of course - fan outrage saw a proposed friendly against the Franchise axed in the spring of 2003. Five years may have passed, but the Franchise are still the pariahs of English football - instead of building up their own club, Milton Keynes City, they stole someone else's. Bearing in mind our own history, we should not be endorsing this.

Peter Varney, 5 May 2003: "Following last Thursday's announcement of plans for the game in Milton Keynes, there has been an overwhelming response from our supporters expressing their concerns.

"We pride ourselves on listening to our fans and in the light of their reaction we have taken the decision not to proceed with this fixture.

Hopefully this rumour is wrong and I'll be left looking rather stupid. But if it's right, I hope there's another huge protest. This cannot be allowed to happen.

Just how much we'll miss Reg...

Did you see Peter Varney doing the rounds yesterday? Here he is on Sky Sports News and on BBC London talking about the inequality the Premier League has created.

"If we played Manchester United at the Valley on a Wednesday and Wigan Athletic on a Saturday, we would now in the future play a weakened side against Manchester United because we would see the Wigan game as being the vital game in terms of the league that we are really playing in."

All hypothetical, of course, and I couldn't agree with him less about having Rangers and Celtic join the English system (they can keep their religious bigotry to themselves, thanks). But when Reg (I know he hates being called that really, but...) bows out, it's proof that we'll miss a fantastic ambassador for our club. Hopefully he won't be lost to football as a whole - studying the calibre of those in charge of the sport, I hope some day we see him back, putting some of his common sense into action at a higher level.

All over

And so, at Loftus Road at about ten to five, we succumbed to the inevitable. A 1-0 defeat by Queen's Park Rangers, together with Palace winning at Watford, extinguished the play-off flame for this season. Did I stand and mourn? Did I rant and rave? Did I heck. I was already on the Central Line.

One of the difficulties of the second half of the season has been that almost every single match I've been to after since win over Palace has been the bloody same. It's been the miserable version of Groundhog Day. Lacklustre performance, a restless crowd, ooops-we've-conceded one, an outbreak of boos, someone calls Darren Ambrose a wanker, someone else spends the whole bloody game slagging off Leroy Lita, and deep inside there's a feeling I'd rather be anywhere, anywhere else than watching Charlton Athletic, particularly among Charlton fans. Football can still excite - hell, I went to AFC Wimbledon a couple of weeks ago and had a great time. But entering The Valley would be enough to leave the cheeriest person with a deep-seated, disturbing loathing for the human race.

As others have mentioned here, remember the optimism we felt when we smashed Palace into the back of beyond? It feels a very, very long time ago - now the place is filled with pessimism and recriminations. In fact, being stuck in the Championship for another season feels worse than the pain of relegation 12 months ago.

At least we knew we were going down, we had the possibility of a fresh start and to get rid of wastes of money like Hasselbaink, Marcus Bent and Dennis Rommedahl. Fast forward 12 month, and Big Fat Jimmy's going to Wembley, Bent has been scoring freely for Wigan and, er, Palace are heading for the play-offs.

Should any Fulham fans be reading this - firstly, hello. Secondly - this will be you next season if you don't sort it out.

So, where did it all go wrong? In time-honoured fashion, allow me to state the bleeding obvious.

1) Selling Andy Reid. There's a pub in Greenwich where Reidy used to go with his mates for a jam session on a Sunday night. It's a quieter and duller place without him. And so's The Valley. He may well represent the best £4m that Roy Keane will ever spend - just ask the Mackem who lives downstairs - but Reid's departure to Sunderland robbed the team of possibly its smartest player, one who could read the game and respond. It also deprived us of a natural leader (as did the departure of gobby Danny Mills). Something went flat once he went. Of course, he could have got injured again and spent the rest of the season laid up, but the team clearly misses his presence. The board's gamble went wrong.

2) Bad transfer business. Luke Varney's had all season to prove himself - unfortunately, it seems we ended up with a dud. It took Andy Gray until last week's match against Southampton to prove himself, but he plodded around Loftus Road on Saturday like a donkey after a skinful. Scott Sinclair - feh. Izale McLeod - who? Ah, that's showbiz. And whisper it... has Zheng Zhi really been worth the money? Of course, in any rebuilding of the teams, there'll be the odd lemon - but it's worth remembering Chris Iwelumo and (latterly) Paddy McCarthy have been, on balance, good to have around. But we've been anything but shrewd in the transfer market, and while our team are, by and large, decent and honest professionals, they've just not been good enough. Another painful clear-out looks on the cards for the summer.

3) Todorov's injury. Remember? That robbed us of a great, smart striker. That, and other unlucky breaks, have conspired against us.

4) Stop hoofing it up in the air you clueless buffoons. Keep it neat and simple. On the ground. There's a reason why Brian Clough was one of England's greatest managers, you know. At one point, we were a pretty good passing team, you know. Well, at least I think we were.

5) The stadium being full of miserable gits. Probably summed up by the denziens of the East Stand's pathetic inability to keep the big Killer flag upright, for fear they'd spill their flasks onto their tartan travel rugs. The Valley needs a bloody great clear-out. Not just of players, but of fans expecting too much of a fragile team which really never got going. It's not just us - Wolves fans have had it since the dawn of time and Watford are also going through convulsions. 13,000 fans who get behind the team are better than 23,000 fans, half of whom jeer every misplaced pass. It's been like being stuck with a load of bad-tempered cab drivers, and this has to have transmitted itself onto the pitch. A football club is nothing without its fans - and our fans have gone AWOL.

There are other issues - boardroom uncertainties, team selection (is Pards swift enough with the substitutions?), but that's enough to be getting on with.

But there's one thing we can't argue with - we weren't good enough this season, and we'll be a second division side for a while longer. For all his talk and undoubted leadership skills, Alan Pardew had better get it right next season.

All quiet over there

Apologies for the continued lack of updates - real life's got in the way and it's been hard to come up with any new observations about things. Back once I've worked out the quickest route to Swansea City. Off which junction of the M4 was it again?