The pain in Spain comes from CAFC

It's Tuesday morning. It's bloody early. There's something not quite right in the Inspector Sands household. My voice is almost gone. I feel rotten. It is time to return to bed. But first, a quick call to cancel work for the day...

...and there's a message left on my phone. From... hold on, that's Maidstone, isn't it? A perky Spanish voice pipes up. "Hello!..." and from there the rest is largely inaudible. Yup, it's that bloke from Llanera trying to flog me his Costa Del Sidcup gaffs.

Now, let's get a few things straight. Firstly, I have not permitted CAFC to pass on my details to their "partners" - getting a CAFC-branded Llanera mailout the other day was bad enough, but cold calling is just rude.

Secondly, under the Privacy and Electronic Communications (EC Directive) Regulations 2003, it is unlawful for Llanera to make unsolicited direct marketing calls to individuals who have indicated that they do not want to receive such calls. I just cut and pasted that from the Telephone Protection Service website. So it's also illegal. So I've reported them via TPS, and if you're also signed up with TPS, I'd encourage you to do the same. I don't care that it's Charlton, they shouldn't be doing it.

Thirdly, if Charlton actually had a decent customer database, rather than cold-calling all season ticket holders, they might realise that I'm probably unlikely to buy family accomodation in some Spanish resort, and that this sort of thing pisses off more people than it impresses.

But "marketing" is the new Charlton god. It's all well and good when you're trying to promote the club - but the database is so basic that season-ticket holders who buy match tickets because they've forgotten their books get included in the mailouts non-ST holders get. And they can't stop going on about it. Remember how pleased they were with themselves with the Les Reed calls before the Wycombe game? (And how long ago does it seem now?)

When the Mail on Sunday took the mickey out of our reminders to people that we've the biggest match in years coming up (and frankly, I don't blame them), old Reg went into a flap, rather than just letting it lie.

But still, we invite the barbs by boasting the West Ham match is now a sell-out - did anyone seriously expect otherwise? West Ham's pals in the media now have more ammunition to tear us to pieces. If I was a West Ham fan, I would. Because this draws more attention to our own failings (poor football in recent seasons, a lukewarm fanbase) than it does to our successes (getting people to buy match tickets.)

I've nothing against the club promoting itself - in fact, I'm all for it. I don't see enough of it around my neck of the woods, in fact. But for heaven's sake, use your brains, chaps. And before you get touchy about criticism, get your own house in order about "marketing" first, eh?

Stand up and be counted

You probably don't think much of Clive Tyldesley as a commentator, but he's also a thoughtful writer in the Daily Telegraph. Here's his take on the safe standing issue:

The tension between the sitters and the standers and the stewards caught in the crossfire is not healthy. No wonder a website dedicated to the campaign is called 'standupsitdown.co.uk' because half the people in these sections want to do one thing and the other half want the opposite. And the poor club security officials are the ones who have got to adjudicate. A new threat to safety is emerging and it has got to be addressed. (more)

Speaking of which, you can also sign the petition to the Prime Minister:
http://petitions.pm.gov.uk/StandUpSitDown/

Robbo's a City Addick this Thursday

The answer, my friend, is Robbo in the pub... John Robinson is going to be at the City Adidcks gathering at the City Tavern off Cheapside (five minutes walk from Cannon Street/ Bank/ St Paul's stations). It's always a good night and a chance to find out a few things you didn't know before. We're sworn to secrecy about what Lennie Lawrence told us last time - and believe me, you wouldn't want Lennie after you if you blabbed. It all starts at 6.30pm, and yes, mine's a Guinness, thanks.

Curbs' training shows results

While we've been relaxing in Spain, old Curbs has been making his Hammers stay behind in Chadwell Heath for double training. But this is no consolation to Anton Ferdinand, who's Baby Bentley's taken a knock - "There was no indication that it was West Ham fans, I have to say," he grunted, indicating that Rio must have use of the family brain cell this week.

Of course, older members of the squad have been leading by example - for example, Teddy Sheringham decided to get some training in by taking his pet racist for a late night walk. Perhaps she needed to go poo-poo or something.

Such dedication to the cause, eh?

What the FA is going on?

The Charlton Life blog asks some pertinent questions about the FA's handling of the Osei Sankofa affair, and why the court attempt to overturn his ban has been surrounded in secrecy...

I am not suggesting that the disciplinary process is biased, indeed last season's figures which show over 25% of all appeals being upheld indicates that is not the case. My concern is the vice-like grip the FA has over the procedures. They have total control of a process that is about as transparent as a brick and may be at odds with the law. (more)

We're seeing plenty of challenges to the FA's processes at the moment - Wigan are rightly furious after the fiasco they endured at Arsenal at the weekend, and further down the leagues, AFC Wimbledon (which I have a small shareholding in) announced their intention to appeal to the Court of Arbitration for Sport after being kicked out of the FA Trophy for unwittingly fielding an illegible player, whose status was only discovered once he was booked (if he'd been a dirty player, he'd have been spotted sooner and the Dons would have been saved a massive points deduction).

This is the 21st century, but the processes of the FA belong to the days when Blackheath were members. It's time for the FA to get its house in order - because with the Premier League becoming more and more power-hungry, its days could be numbered if it doesn't.

Another morale-boosting, erm, defeat

Well, well. A 2-0 defeat at Old Trafford yesterday, but by most accounts - and the last half-hour which I managed to watch - we acquitted ourselves well. Good, also, to see Zheng Zyi, Song and Boughera make their debuts. Should we survive, we might just have the makings of a decent side next season.

Elsewhere, things went to plan with Watford showing up West Ham at Upton Park, and outrageous luck saw Arsenal beat Wigan at the Emirates today. Despite their defeat, the Latics' fine performance remains a worry.

A weekend off for the FA Cup, then it's That Match - the time for talking will soon be over, and Pards is taking the squad off to Spain this week to instil some more of his philosophies.

We’ll be getting down to hard work, but there will also be room to relax. We have some go-karting planned, a table tennis tournament and Matt Holland is preparing a quiz, which we hope isn’t about farming and pigs and cows and whatever he does out in Ipswich.

"We’ve done not bad, but now is the time. This is the start of the recovery. After the United game, we have to kick in and kick on." (more)

At Sparrows Lane, the decorators are in, and the players have been told to stay away from the office staff's computers...

"I say to the secretaries, 'Don’t let the players into your area'. "They say that the players want to look at the internet. Now the banter is that they may put up a kiddie gate. Not a bad idea, but the players would go over the gate or open it.

"The girls have to learn to say, 'This is my area'. It’s a small thing, but it’s an example."

So if a Charlton player asks if he can check his e-mail on your computer, do the decent thing and say no, okay?

Put your money on Charlton (and other stories)

- Nope, I'm not going to Manchester United on Saturday, but I can tell you that we're a stonking 28/1 to beat the Red Devils on Betfair, while "official Charlton bookmakers" Paddy Power are offering a comparatively miserly 20-1. So, if you've a fiver that's begging to be spent...

- I missed Andy Reid's appearance at Bromley Addicks the other night, but by all accounts he was a very nice chap, and confirmed the famous "lost near Newcastle" story about Iain Dowie, but said it wasn't so bad as it was made out to be.

- Speaking of Mr Dowie, our ex-head coach's court battle with Simon Jordan was due back in court today, ahead of a further hearing in the summer.

- I'm a bit late with this, but David Cameron responded to the safe standing campaign on his website, saying the Tories would look into the issue. Very non-committal, but not the heads-in-the-sand attitude of the current administration.

- Got Freeview? Watch out for a big battle over Premiership TV rights that's coming to your screen soon. Last week, Setanta Sports announced it'd be charging Freeview viewers £11/month for a limited period to subscribe to its sports channel - which will carry what's now the pay-per-view games next season. And today, Sky announced plans to offer Premiership football to Freeview users. The catch, though, will be the removal of Sky Sports News (and Sky News) from Freeview. Which is not good, even if SSN did tout that old cobblers about West Ham bidding £18m for Darren Bent.

- And finally, let's enjoy our annual chortle at West Ham's Valentine's night package, which for just £75 includes a "sumptuous four-course meal by candlelight", free house wine and "a gift for the lady" (a signed picture of Curbs?). Oh, and a chance to make the earth move in the West Ham Quality Hotel for a further £65. Hmmm.... night in with a bag of chips and the Brit Awards, anyone?

The wonder of Welling

Sad to hear of the death of Welling United general manager Graham Hobbins earlier today - chatting with the Hobbins brothers at Park View Road while buying friendly tickets seemed as much of a summer institution as the match we play there each pre-season.

Among the sadness, it's worth reflecting on the work Graham and his brother, Barrie, put in at Welling - the club only formed as a parks side in 1963, and took over the then-disused Park View Road ground in the late 1970s - rising from the old Athenian league to the Conference in less than a decade, an amazing achievement.

Welling lost their Conference status in 2000, but are second in Conference South now and in the FA Trophy quarter-finals - success in either competition would be a fitting tribute to Graham Hobbins. Imagine what it'd be like for them now in a bigger, better Conference? Good luck to them - I hope they do it for him.

Incidentally, they're raising money to replace the floodlights damaged in the recent storms by building a "Welling Wall" - to find out how to help, click here.

A reminder of yesterday's atmosphere

Even Jose heard. If we can keep this going...
(Fine mobile phone work from andytheaddick, so please show your appreciation on his page. And the Covered End drummer, last seen in a local hostelry sporting a glowing blister on his thumb...)

Charlton 0-1 Chelsea

Proper match reports: cafc.co.uk, BBC Sport, Sky Sports, Sporting Life, The Observer, Sunday Times, Sunday Telegraph, Independent on Sunday, Sunday People, Sunday Mirror, Mail on Sunday, chelseafc.com.

Opposition view: Chelsea Blog

So the Chel$ea freak circus creaked into town, nabbed three points through an Amady Faye cock-up which gave puppy dealer Frank Lampard tons of room, and didn't do much else. Andriy Shevchenko did sod all, ending my fears that he'd dive for a penalty like he did when I saw him at the World Cup, and Michael Ballack didn't do much better. As Jose Mourinho's childish bleatings and the odious Peter Kenyon's chest-beating show - you can't buy class.

Class is something we're short of as well. But we had guts and it showed. I don't know what Alan Pardew's said to Marcus Bent, but he led by example today, sniffing blood in Chelsea's play and charging around after them. Ben Thatcher was excellent in defence, while Talal El Karkouri also had a good match. Jerome Thomas down the wing was a threat. Faye had an odd game, letting balls go but also getting our two chances - and blowing them, with a robotic-looking Petr Cech in excellent form. In our goal, Scott Carson also rose to the occasion, with a couple of excellent saves.

We rode our luck - later on the excellent Salomon Kalou clipped the post for the Blues, but Didier Drogba seemed to get away with at least four or five handballs.

I feel annoyed we didn't get a point - but to have hassled and harried Chelsea as we did, and limited their lead to a single goal, is still a morale-boosting achievement. We face a tough one next week against the true class of Manchester United, but we can be proud of today. Wigan's win is a blow, but there's still plenty of hope.