E-mail problems (less than thrilling post)

Because of a server problem I'm not getting any e-mails at this site's usual address - if you feel the need to drop me a line you'll find me at a temporary @hotmail.co.uk address for the time being.

Cor, bet you're glad you spent two seconds of your life reading that, eh?

Spector's a Hammer, Jordan's a...

Since some plonker's replaced cafc.co.uk with a splash advert which doesn't link to the proper front page (and has probably sodded off for the afternoon to watch the World Cup), I went to West Ham's website instead. And what did I find...?

West Ham United have completed the signing of Jonathan Spector from Manchester United for an initial fee of £500,000.

The 20-year-old defender has agreed a long-term deal at Upton Park and becomes Alan Pardew's second summer signing following the arrival of Lee Bowyer from Newcastle United last week. (more)

Blimey, I thought Pardew had an eye for a good signing as well! Apparently he's been after Spector for 18 months! Spector proved to be a bit of a lightweight in his season at The Valley, and I doubt he'll be seen as a huge loss to us - sounds more like a good bit of business for wily old Fergie, to me.

In other Hammers news, earlier this week the tapping-up (did I really say that?) of Luke Young was stepped up, although since we've heard little from Luke Young since his transfer request, hopefully that's a good sign.

Also in the transfer bargain basement bin: The Sun reckoned we were in for Shaun Wright-Phillips on loan, and there was something swilling around about Callum Davenport. Not exactly setting the bush telegraph alight so far, although we're still waiting for a conclusion to the Steve Sidwell business. Ex-Spanner Steven Reid doesn't want to play for us, Clubcall have found a newspaper which says we're interested in Stephen Carr, and a local paper in Surrey thinks we're after Ben Watson from Palarse.

Speaking of which... Simon Jordan's carried out his threat to sue Iain Dowie.

Jordan the other day: “I don’t try and nick managers, maybe other people do. If I agree to pay money, then Charlton should pay money to me for Iain. I am many things, but I am not a fool. Why would I waive compensation for Dowie to then go seven miles down the road to enhance his salary? So I can pay for someone else? The spirit of the agreement of the compensation was very clear. Whatever happens, the reality is that I was lied to.

"There is nothing personal with Dowie. I want it to be resolved and we both know the truth. Hopefully, that will happen at the most inconvenient time for Charlton." (more)

Do you think Jordan's ever visited a shrink before? He could do with one...

Whose jackpot is it anyway?

A bizarre story on cafc.co.uk this morning - with less than three weeks until the end of her tenure as supporters' director, Sue Townsend's apparently looking for ways of spending the £20,000 booty from topping the best-behaved fans league.

It's a bit odd, really. The leading idea is to stick banners up in the Covered End, along the lines of the ones you see at Old Trafford's Stretford End. In fact, plans are well-advanced to launch a website to promote this idea. But the idea itself developed after a messageboard discussion between supporters' director candidates Vince Nieszwiec and Ben Hayes as well as other fans in January this year. I don't remember Sue putting anything forward.

Ben won the election, and Vince wasn't far behind. So while third-placed Sue still has a few days left, why is she fronting this appeal for ideas?

"One good proposal so far is for the money to be spent on better decorating The Valley with flags and banners, but £20,000 is a lot of money and there may be other ideas." (more)

Hardly a ringing endorsement. Why not ask Ben to front the campaign? After all, he's the one that's got to help implement whatever's decided. It's clear the board are fond of Sue, but the fans voted for someone different, who is about to take over. Shouldn't the new man be fronting this campaign?

Otherwise it gives the impression the board are more receptive to her ideas than his - after all, she did suddenly start to appear on cafc.co.uk and in the programme around the election period. Which isn't a wise thing. I just hope the board prove themselves to be a little more open-minded than they've appeared to be so far.

Meanwhile, it's good to see Chrystal Palace take on one of our cast-offs - come on, Peter, you didn't really turn us down... and I've just found this BBC Sport interview with Les Reed, buried under loads of World Cup stuff.

"Don't get me wrong, there's no point playing nice, pretty passing patterns if we are going to lose every week, but we have a responsibility to entertain.

"The fans have been patient and now want to see some silverware, perhaps even a European place.

"Both Iain and I are very target-orientated and we will set certain levels the players will need to reach." (more)

And while I'm here, a couple of extra World Cup links if you fancy hunting down fans of other sides in London - Statto Statto is also hunting down London's expats, while BBC London has compiled a list of venues.

From the Fleet to Frankfurt

Well, that's torn it, then. No, really, it's over.

What, you might ask?

It's me and the reserves. No longer will be a chilly night at the stiffs be darkened by my presence. Well, if they will move them to bloody Northfleet. I mean, where's that on my Travelcard?

In all fairness, though, shifting the stiffs to Stonebridge Road is probably a good idea. Reserve matches at an echoey Valley have only been affairs for the truly hardcore, and they knacker our pitch out. Not that Gravesend & Northfleet's groundsman - who also plays host to Dartford as well as our women's side - will be grateful, but there you go. The Fleet have a Conference-standard ground, and they might well attract the mums, dads, and 2.4 kids who'd be happier to spin down to Northfleet rather than haul themselves up to Charlton for a 7pm start. The Fleet get some cash over their tidy little bar, Scally of the Gills has his nose tweaked, and The Valley's pitch gets a rest. Everyone's happy. Well, apart from me, because I quite liked my little wanders down to see the stiffs. Not that I did much of it last season, mind...

Right, so what's this on my telly... some bloke called Alan Curbishley on ITV1 talking about the World Cup, and Iain Dowie on BBC1 talking about the World Cup! What's that all about, then? At least it's helping me master the Dowie's turns of phrase. In fact, it's essential training. At least Dowie got the trip to Germany - getting any decent scouting in, Iain?

World Cup of plenty

Isn't new technology great? Anyone can set up their own blog and comment on things, and it's well, just... brilliant, isn't it?

Well, it isn't, really. It means anyone can cook up their own half-arsed "news" website by copying whatever they've seen in the papers and passing it off as their own. People have done this with showbusiness news for years, but now football news is becoming a din of plagiarism. Hunting for reliable news about football on the internet is a real challenge, with Google News and other services clogged up by "me too" websites like Fans FC, Teamtalk and others whose only effort has been to cut and paste from other websites, or to scour the gossip columns of the Sunday tabloids.

One seems to be clogging up the Forever Charlton listings lately, although it goes under the banner of "Foot Fans" on Google, which would suggest it's a website with a slightly more specialised interest. But seriously, the offical site can tell me there's a bust of Curbs planned, why should anyone else on the internet feel the need to just parrot it?

Actually, it'd be nice to see the people behind Forever Charlton get back to providing a news service rather than simply promoting their own sites, and message boards, but now the genie's out of the bottle I guess that's a forlorn hope. Although the message board which called the bust of Curbs a "memorial" gave me a good laugh. He's only left, for heaven's sake..

But on the other hand, it is brilliant! Because so many people are doing good things for the World Cup - from huge corporations to fans armed with no more than a London travelcard. Here's my favourites...

World Cup blogs:
Finals Fantasy: Ben from Newcastle's Black and White and Read All Over is putting his weight behind this spin-off from It's Up For Grabs Now. There's also My Sofa World Cup, Who Ate All The Bratwurst (arf), World Cup Blog, Alone in Cologne, screw-FIFA video compilation Germany 2006 - The Goals, and a BBC blog that's actually pretty good, featuring contributors from news and sport reporters across Germany.

World Cup podcasts:
Soccer Shout asked me if I'd take part, therefore inflating my ego to huge proportions and guaranteeing their damn good podcast a mention. There's also The Beautiful Game (from Berlin) and three so-far disappointing efforts from national papers - the Telegraph's "pubcast" (irritating toff sits in pub, sounding like he'd rather be talking about rugby), Baddiel and Skinner for The Times (sod off back to '96), and The Guardian's too smug-by-half effort.

World Cup songs:
A bit of self-interest here - I know the brother of one of the people on this, but Young Stanley's Sing It For England is probably the best of the bunch. (Buy via iTunes.)

The best idea of them all:
World Cup In One City: "Mark Poole was looking forward to World Cup 2006 but when Scotland crashed out of qualification yet again, he was left with no-one to support. Then it hit him: why not support everyone? He’d joined the Tartan Army in a London pub that turned into a passionate bit of Scotland every matchday: surely there was a good chance that all 32 World Cup teams had similar London venues?" The same idea's also been picked up by Robert Elms on his BBC London radio show, but nobody from the show had the wit to put any of this online.

That should keep you going for the next month, shouldn't it?

Club or country?

So as one long-running rumour is put to rest with Lee Bowyer finally joining West Ham (can't say I'm fussed), people's minds start to move away from The Valley for a bit.

So on the first day of the World Cup, let's nick a Netaddicks post from earlier in the week and ask which would you rather see - Charlton win the FA Cup, or England (or your country) win the World Cup?

For me, there's no question. Charlton every time. I love the World Cup, but England's just a sideshow. It'd be fabulous if England did win it, but national fervour never really rushes through my veins. All the hype, all the frustration, all the speculation... I always enjoy it more from a distance. Say England got to the final. The hype would be unbearable, wouldn't it?

I admit it, I'm a snob. Imagine if every four years every idiot in the country suddenly decided they knew everything about Charlton? Sod that. I'm happier in our slightly more exclusive club. And as a Londoner, I know anyone who thinks the World Cup's solely about England is deluding themselves. Go anywhere in this city over the next five weeks, you'll find fans of all the teams involved. A bottle of export Guinness to whoever unearths the Togo fans - they'll be here somewhere. It's not just about us pale English - it's about everyone. And it's that which makes the World Cup so bloody fantastic.

So good luck England - but whatever happens, I'll still be smiling on July 9.

Bottle job

Supporters' director-elect Ben Hayes tackles a knotty question in this Netaddicks post:

A few days ago people asked me could we have bottled beer at the Valley.

I've spoken to the club and they say they were keen but fans said they preferred draught beer.

Is this still the case or have people changed their minds having seen beer on sale other grounds in opened, plastic bottles? (more)

Me, I probably buy one pint of beer a season at The Valley, because it's crap served in plastic pints and definitely not worth whatever they charge for it (haven't a clue, I think the last one was bought for me...) They're easily spilt and while Fosters tastes like piss anyway, Fosters out of a plastic cup is at the bottom of lager's evolutionary scale, while the John Smiths ain't that much better. Anyone who's been in Floyd's/ Bartram's will know that beer ain't Charlton's strong point.

But there is a better way - serve the damn stuff in opened bottles. Fulham had the best idea - have people walking around the ground selling the stuff in opened bottles. See? No queueing. Even I had a beer. All that pouring equipment that only gets used 20 times a year can go elsewhere, and I'd imagine the bottles are easier to recycle/ reuse as well. Simple.

It's a no-brainer, and it's a curious reflection on our current supporters' director that if the club believes something as simple and relatively trivial as this can't be improved, then what the hell else has she been telling them? Fair play to Ben for having a go (and he'd appreciate your thoughts at benATcharltonfansdirector.co.uk).

I imagine it's because the club's tied into a deal with Scottish & Newcastle for pouring rights, while the clubs which provide bottles seem to have them from Carlsberg. Although I swear I've seen Fosters in plastic bottles somewhere (possibly not a football match, though).

In an ideal world, of course, we'd be buying our beer locally - the Meantime Brewery, which runs the Greenwich Union pub and brews Sainsbury's Taste The Difference beers, is based just across the Woolwich Road in Penhall Road, and is run by Charlton fan Alistair Hook. After all, we are proud of our links in the community, aren't we? I fear either finances or a lack of imagination might rule that out, though.

In the meantime, fair play to Ben for bringing the issue up - it's the kind of thing a supporters' director should be looking at.

Tequila (it makes me happy)

You'll have to excuse me, I'm a bit down in the dumps. This morning I was in Barcelona, enjoying beautiful sunshine as I lumped my luggage onto the airport bus. This afternoon, I'm back in Charlton, and how grey are those skies? Damn the post-holiday comedown, but enormous thanks to Stuart for keeping All Quiet going while I was away. He got the ultimate honour - a comment from Frankie Valley. I am not worthy.

I do feel a bit out of it, mind - I haven't seen any of the last two England friendlies so it's news to me that Peter Crouch is suddenly lauded for his dancing... and his scoring? I didn't see Jason Euell (and young Jamal) try their best as part of a poor Jamaica side against England. Funny how Euell's suddenly back in the spotlight a little - a cameo part in the Marlon King debacle helped. Perhaps he's now a big part of Iain Dowie's plans?

Iain Dowie... Iain Dowie... still feels odd to type that name. But Barcelona's Nou Camp did rock last night to the sounds of "Iain Dowie's red and white army!" as I wandered along to Morocco v Colombia at a one-tenth-full stadium. I went on the off-chance, but it was mayhem trying to get a ticket at first - let's just say the Moroccans can't queue. Trying to negotiate my way up what passed for a queue, pushing, shoving and jostling broke out - these lads can't just wait patiently for a ticket, they have to be first. And they have to be accompanied by five of their horrible little scrote mates as well. I gave up and considered going along to something more civilised instead - bullfighting.

But I remembered there were other ticket booths on the other side of the ground, and found myself in with the Colombians. I've never been surrounded by such happy people in my life. Flags, banners, horns, songs, mile-wide smiles and stunning-looking women too. The Moroccans were also dancing and singing, but their pent-up, boys-only aggression belonged in the dark ages. Sexy football? I was surrounded by it. I couldn't speak their language, they couldn't speak mine, but we bonded through the international convention of talking bollocks and gesturing. And... "hey meester!" They gave me their tequila to drink too. And bloody nice it was as well.

So I told them about my team. If you're in Barcelona and you hear some Colombians talking about "Sharlton", say hi to them from me.

The game? It was okay, but Morocco - featuring one Talal El Karkouri in defence for the first half - spoilt the spirit with their continual diving and cynical play. Shame, because they've got some nice touches. Their best early chance came from a certain ex-Charlton player unleashing a mighty free kick... but it was to no avail as the Colombians won 2-0, a penalty from Hugo Rodallega and a late goal from Elkin Soto. My Colombian friends went wild, the Moroccans lobbed bottles onto the pitch. Sexy football won the day - I bet they're still dancing now.

Strictly dance fever

I'm all at a loose end.

The build-up to the UEFA fair play draw was brought to a sudden conclusion. More evidence of the English FA being incompetent old blazers?

Oh well, must be some transfer talk. Mr Iain, abetted by General Manager - Football, has finished a wide-ranging clearout, perhaps some new faces coming in?

Well, no. All I've seen (in the shape of the News of the World) is Luke Young set on leaving for Wet Spam in a £3.6m deal, and Wayne Routledge linking up with Dowie again (because we NEED another winger).

If the Young deal is true that seems good money to me. But, paper-talk is just that, talk.

And by hell has there been a lot of talk about Peter 'FREAK' Crouch's robotic dancing.

I don't want to re-open the debate about him keeping l'il Bent off the most eagerly awaited flight from England to Germany since the Dambusters raid. But I'm keen to know, is 'the robot' the most embarassing celebration ever?

Can you think of worse?

Here's some starters. The Real Madrid team pretending to be cockroaches? Peter Beagrie's flips (Love that someone from the capital of smog has 'amended' the Wikipedia entry)? Fowler sniffing the line? Mary Poppin's spirit-crushingly dull one-arm salute? I'm sure you'll all have your 'favourites'.

You couldn't make it up

Blimey, now I know how caretaker bosses feel.

Holding the fort and all hell breaks loose with the news that UEFA and the English FA somehow forgot to tell us we're out of the Fair Play draw.

The FA received a final co-efficient of 7.984. 18-thousandeths of a mark away from inclusion. What's that? One dodgy refereeing decision? A couple of dives?

Saying that, if you were the French entrant you'd be totally sick. 0.007 away.

Words cannot express the frustration I feel. 'Reg' Varney summing up again: "The whole situation is a complete shambles and reflects very poorly on both our own Football Association and UEFA."

I'm sure you'll have your own words to describe it.